You’re probably wondering what your future self was thinking when she wrote you this letter. Well, let me explain.
I know that right now, you’re probably feeling a little shitty. You probably feel as if this is the lowest point in your life, and that you will never recover from it. And I’m writing you this letter to tell you that you are very wrong.
You may have already cried over that one girl who, for some reason, hates you and is trying her hardest to tear you down. Forget about her. In a couple of years you’d probably forgive her for everything she’s said and done, so don’t worry about her now. Worry about your grades, maybe worry about your hair and how food still gets stuck in your braces.
People will call you out for writing something in the school newspaper about how some people are treated differently. Stand up for yourself. It’s a scary thing to do but trust me on this. Yes you will lose a couple of friends, but were they really your friends? As I write you this I can recall the friends I’ve made when I was sixteen and they have drastically decreased. I don’t even feel bad. It just makes you realize how some people only like you because they gain something from you. Friendship isn’t supposed to be like that. Remember that the good ones are the ones who see you for who you are, and not what you have.
Your heart might have already been broken by the time you read this. You have probably cried about it for so many nights, your eyes are almost nonexistent from all the puffiness. That’s okay. You’ll look back on this and you’ll ask yourself why the hell were you crying over him. Sure, right now you probably couldn’t sleep because you were over-analyzing that cryptic text he sent you, and you’re probably thinking about what you did, but I’m telling you to just take a deep breath. I’m sorry to say this but there will be boys who will only look at you because they want something from you. They will be nice, they will treat you so well that you think, hey, maybe he’s the one. But he’s not. So be cautious and stand your guard.
You’re going to hate your body, and I know what I’m going to say next is starting to get annoying, but that’s okay. You will have good days and you will have crap ones. But focus on the good ones. Focus on that one time your hair wasn’t a big, tangly mess. Focus on your teeth, still in braces, and imagine what they’ll look like when you finally take them off. Focus on your smile, because for some reason you’re going to go into a phase where you think smiling is the worst thing to do. It’s actually quite the opposite.
Take lots of pictures, yes, both in front and behind the camera. You’ll look back at all of them and you’ll remember what I said. Actually, you probably won’t remember. You might have a foggy memory, as your focus will mostly be on reading books and One Tree Hill quotes.
Remember that you are smart. Even if you suck at Math. You are smart. You are kind. You are not the definition of other people. Remember that people who say the meanest words end up ruining their karma points. Oh, right, you don’t believe in karma right now, but you will. Oh, if you could take a look at their Facebook accounts right now, you’ll know what I’m talking about…
Someone will always be there to help you. Someone will always be there for you to talk to.
You will have an unhealthy obsession with watching TV shows. I still do, up to now. So don’t bother trying to change that. You will still be awesome.
Oh, right. A few more things before I end this letter.
1. Unless you are going to the beach or some sort of resort, try to avoid wearing flip flops, even if they’re the expensive ones. *coughHavaianascough* because dirt will accumulate in your toenails and that look is not pretty AT ALL.
2. Yes, you will still love Harry Potter and Pokemon.
3. You will move to a different country before you turn 18. Oops! Spoilers?
4. You’ll still have bad days, but trust me, the good days are worth it.
5. You’ll give up any pasta dish for forty days for Lent and it will be the absolute worst decision you have made appetite-wise but that rewarding feeling you get after those forty days feels so good. Spaghetti will never be the same again.
Talk to your family often. Hug people. Be nicer. Do the dishes and clean your room.
Your 20-Year Old Future Self